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Afterparty

by Alan Axl

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  • Patti the Partygoer
    Ruby Rubbish
    Eloise Clay
    Luca Magnolia
    Cynthia Clouds

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  • Carolyn Southbound
    Joe the Ghost
    Alice Wanderlust
    Lith Drok
    Isaac Crisis

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1.
I think it's time for me to just erase The ties that bind me to your pretty face My friends are tired of hearing your name I know it's dumb and even a little lame Do you think I'm doing this by myself? My thoughts don't leave for a single day Your love was pure but now is bitterness Goodbye, i'll be okay with the fucking end (I'm sorry) I can just begin to accept the fact that you don't love me now Can I just resist the urge to call you everytime I'm down? Oh-ah It's a Yeah it's a It's a It's a shame
2.
I see myself in a pool of blood But then I think about you all I notice you noticed I'm thinking 'bout the end Don't leave me, don't let me do what head pretends (Alan, take your pills) I see myself lacking air tonight But then I see the brighest light I notice you noticed I'm coming near the end Don't leave me, don't let me do what hands pretend (Alan, take your pills) Are you calling or am I dumb? Are you coming when I feel numb?
3.
Kinda Funny 02:17
My hands are tied And I can't begin to cry Because you are the reason why You tied me up with all your lies I'm upside down You got me like a freaking cow Just waiting to be your meal Let's settle down this pretty deal I'm down Sex is kinda funny And I think you noticed Set an hour and call me And I think I'm on it (I'll live in your room) (When you're in the mood) (I'll leave with the moon) (Or even at noon) (Take me to your room and there) (I'll be quiet or I'll tear you up)
4.
I want to look you in the eyes And ask you "do you like me?" But you don't even recognize me I guess it's gonna be like this Love is not on my side tonight She won't even notice if I'm high I can't just drink the pain away And make a scene just like my friends 'cause then my mind says hey don't drink I guess it's gonna be like this Love is not on my side tonight She won't even notice if I'm high
5.
The side effects Of taking these sleeping pills Still taking down But I gotta stay strong as you, as you The memories We built are still here in my head Your comedy Will always be inside my heart, my heart Maybe what I wanna be is not your lover anymore I wanna be a stranger again Even if the scars don't hurt Yeah, it's exactly what you heard I wanna be a stranger again
6.
You're so mean When I hit your messages right now But I guess you just answered me at last Right? Right? You're so mean When I hear your voicemail at my house But I guess you just answered me at last Right? Right? You're so mean When I see you in my way to thrive But I guess you been doing just fine Fine, fine And I know why you're like that Someone broke your heart last night And I better feeling the pain you felt Break me Break me, break me
7.
I need to say I hate you instead Because I love you as a long lost friend Doo-doo-doo-doo I meant to say so many things But yesterday was blue as the birds sang The minutes passed so slow this time And I need to need to why your words were cursed as you pronounced them Take me to a better place and tell me that we're fine (We'll be fine) I just need to know that things will get better with time (Better with time) Get better with time I hope you find someone
8.
Make Believe 02:56
I'm falling You're falling We're falling in the pit I'm crawling You're crawling We're crawling out of it I'm nothing You're nothing It's not that hard to see I'm happy You're happy At least pretend to be Just tell me that the loneliness I'm feeling will not last That my friends are happy with the things they did 'til now (hear me out) The symptoms of sadness appear in everyone It's something we notice but sometimes we let it pass Don't do that, you're worth it, go and feel free somehow Be someone for someone and live your life out loud Just tell me that the loneliness I'm feeling will not last That my friends are happy with the things they did 'til now
9.
Woah I think of this as just a vile way of telling tales without a listener And that's okay our lives are getting there At a different pace but at least it's not the end yet Woah (not yet) I think of you as beautiful instead I disagree with all the things you say About yourself 'cause your eyes don't match your words So let me know when you've done all thing you wanted to Don't run away It's your sense of loneliness again And that's not fair We're all fighting monsters anyway I think of this I think of you Don't run away It's your sense of loneliness again And that's not fair We're all fighting monsters anyway (Don't hide away) (Don't be scared) (Ugly monsters)
10.
Digital Date 03:09
Yeah, you say okay when it's not okay Today it's that day, today, today Yeah, you can forget and you can't forgive 4 bits of shame, 4 bits, 4 bits Digital screams (hello) On my screen (goodbye) Digital pain (hello) That I'll paint (goodbye) The only thing that I hate about this date is that I can't be myself And that means no jokes about your hair or any your wear I like you I want to smile but I guess that's not the way I need more to think of something of else before I bore you out I like you Digital screams (hello) On my screen (goodbye) Digital pain (hello) That I'll paint (goodbye)
11.
Don't turn around You don't need to Just live your life Cut me in two Forget me Forgive me not Escape this town In just a thought La la la la la la la la Everytime I trust someone new They end up being just like you Don't follow me I know it's know it's you I miss your voice, I miss that noise (that noise) Your soul makes when your annoyed (confused) 'cause you found a better toy (that noise) Your soul makes when your annoyed (confused) 'cause you found a better toy
12.
Feel at Home 02:52
You're cool and beautiful You loved me and loved you But things didn't work out the way we wanted to It's the things that you did what made feel at home You're cute, what a shame We broke up very strange But things didn't work out the way we wanted to It's the things that you did what made feel at home Yeah, things didn't work out the way we wanted to It's the things that you did what made feel at home (It didn't work out)
13.
I let you go It's all my fault Because I thought you weren't the one But you're the one, yeah you're the one Who sets me out, out I love you so And you're gone Because I thought you would become The one who loves my stupid flaws but I guess not I gotta go Something that you said will always be in my head And that it's "love yourself no matter what they say" I want to go I want to go
14.
I will say what you can't I won't cry, I won't cry I will save what I can For your hands, your pretty hands I will try to raise our child I swear I'll try, I swear I'll try I'll call your mom and tell her more about myself Will I live a life like this Or will I lie about my life? The things I said the before don't mean a thing Don't mean one thing You can't be gone, don't play you're gone I guess you're gone, I think you're gone I think we're done Will I live a life like this Or will I lie about my life? She smiles from above She know that I'm not in love with anybody but her
15.
Help me get this feeling out of my head And pretend I'm fine to thrive Take this pressure as a signal To leave a mark in someone that you love I dreamt about a never ending nightmare And I died in last night The memories that I have with you Now are merely just pieces of lost media (You know I can't fake what I feel) You know I can't fake what I feel

about

Afterparty is meant to be taken as a surreal piece based on me and those surrounding me, turning into a concept album that takes place during the temporary timeline of a university party that repeats itself indefinitely to which most of the characters attend and as the album progresses other characters emerge only as memories and scenarios that happened before the party, this album touches on themes such as mental illnesses, romance, nihilism, death, abusive relationships, the modern era, and self-realisation, to name a few.

It's also my first full length album, so there it's that. Dedicated to the people in my past and present. - Axl

credits

released October 28, 2023

Alan Axl Velarde - Vocals, guitars, keys, piano, synths, bass, drums, electronics, songwriting, production
Manuel Velarde - Musical assistance

Gerardo Cañedo - Design concept
Morningstar Spathe - Font design
Demian Guerrero - Artwork

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Alan Axl Mexicali, Mexico

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